A newlywed couple is getting ready for bed when the husband says,"Honey, now that we're married, it's okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?"
She opens her robe and lets her husband see her naked body. And he says, "You are so so so beautiful. Can I get the camera and take a picture?"
"Why do you want to do that?" she asks.
"Because I love you so so so much, and I'd like to keep your picture next to my heart forever!"
She allows him to get the camera and take the picture. Then she says, "Honey, now that we're married, it's okay for me to see your body too. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?"
He opens his robe and lets his wife see his naked body. And she asks, "Can I get the camera and take a picture?"
"Why do you want to do that?" he asks her.
"Because I want to get it enlarged!"
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It wasn't until their second date that the girl realized the man she was with was a braggart. They were doubling with another couple for dinner, and the man said to her: "Instead of dessert, how about we just go to my place, and I'll slip ya nine inches."
"Hmmmmm." responded the girl. "I hadn't realized that you could get it up three times in a row."
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It's perfectly okay to have sex on an empty stomach, especially if it belongs to your partner.
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Question: Why is air a lot like sex?
Answer: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
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Do you know there are three types of female orgasm?
The positive orgasm - Oh yes! Oh yes!
The negative orgasm - Oh no. Oh no!
And the fake orgasm - Oh (put guys name in here)! Oh (put guys name in here)!
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Mary hears the car drive up, then a clatter as it hits the garbage cans. Car door slams, some cussing, then the garage door opens, slams. Suddenly more crashing and clattering and cussing, then John comes into the house with his golf clubs, scowling and cussing.
"What's the matter, Dear, you have as bad day on the golf course?" asked Mary.
"Ya, what a rotten day! What a rotten round of golf! Why I only hit two good balls all day, and I wouldn't have hit them if I hadn't stepped on the rake in the garage!"
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