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When someone asks how you are, tell them "FINE".
Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic &
Emotional
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We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthly, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet whispering of the leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.
We lay there, both naked, I knew I had to have her and have her now. Without a word being spoken, I managed to move myself to a position of dominance. I could feel instantly that this was what she had been waiting for as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her.
Then as tension rose, we began the ultimate in sex. Although inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent myself from ending it all too soon.
As sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable Mind-blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out until the moment we had been both waiting for was upon us. As it did we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the last deep orange glow of the long set sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, as we lay there still entwined in an amorous embrace, I kissed her long and loving and whispered how good she had been, she tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear and whispered: "Baaaa", then re-joined the flock.
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Bill walks into a bar and sees Bob sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
Bill says "Bob, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Bill, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Bill, tits out to here! She says 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Bill. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Bill, she couldn't swim!!"
The next day Bill walks into the bar and sees Bob sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Bill says "What are you so happy about today, Bob?"
"Well Bill... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Bill, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Bill, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim!!, Bill, she couldn't swim!!!"
A couple days pass and Bill walks into the bar and sees Bob down there cryin over a beer.
Bill says "Bob, what are you so sad for?" "Well Bill, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me...tits WAY out to here, Bill, tits WAY out to here. She says 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Bill, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. She pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Bill !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! And Bill, I CAN'T SWIM,.
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Things To Remember
Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.
When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating outside the family. They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past.
If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll learn him.
Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.
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Quote of the day :
"Sex is like going to the gas station. Sometimes you get full service,and sometimes you have to go to self-serve.
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My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship.
It's titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'
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