"JOKES PAGE # 4"
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY !
Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the fuck happened.
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The other day I saw this story about chickens in a magazine.
Did you know they have yellow eyes? True. And now some clever person has come up with an idea to fit the chickens with red contact lenses. I know, I know, it sounds weird, but the guy who came up with the idea said it makes them eat less, lay more, and stop hen pecking so much.
Of course, once word of this gets around, rose colored glasses are going to be the hottest Christmas gift from husbands to wives.
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A guy took a blonde out on a date one night. Eventually they ended up parked at 'lovers point' where they started making out.
After things started to progress, the guy thought he might get lucky. After a few more minutes of fooling around, he asked his date, "Do you want to get into the back seat?"
"NO!" she answered.
Okay, he thought, maybe she's not ready yet.
Now he has her shirt and skirt off and the windows are steamed. Things are getting really hot, so he asks again.
"Do you want to get into the back seat?"
"NO!" she answers again.
Now he has her bra off, they're both very sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now.
"Do you want to get into the back seat NOW?" he asks again.
"NO!" she answers yet again.
Frustrated, he demands, "Well, why not?"
"Because I want to stay up here with you!"
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Pantyhose Quiz
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of Pantyhose?
Now, think about it........ready?
R
U
THINKING
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find.
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What Kind Of Penis Do You Have?
The Excedrin Penis:
It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Snickers Penis:
It satisfies you.
The Life Call Penis:
It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis:
Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis:
How many licks DOES it take...?
The m&m penis:
melts in your mouth,not in your hand.
The lucky charms penis:
It's magically delicious.
The Energizer penis:
it keeps going and going.
The Right guard penis:
anything less is uncivilized.
The Campbell's soup penis:
mmm mmm good!
The McDonald's penis:
over 8 billion served.
The Tombstone penis:
what would you like on your penis?
The AllState penis:
you're in good hands.
The Barq's penis:
the one with bite.
The beef penis:
it's what's for dinner.
The Bud Lite penis:
great taste, less filling.
The Transformers penis:
it's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler penis:
it makes mouths happy.
The Starburst penis:
the juice is loose.
The Timex penis:
takes a lickin and keeps on.......
The Burger King penis:
it takes two hands to handle a whopper.
The Wendy's penis:
where's the beef?
The Lays penis:
Betcha can't eat just one.
The Little Caesar's penis:
Penis!! Penis!!
The Bounty Penis:
The quicker picker-upper.
The Street Fighter II penis:
matt, stop, you're too good at this.
The Domino's Pizza penis:
delivers in 30 min. or less.
The Rice Krispies penis:
what does your penis say to you?
The Extra penis:
lasts an extra extra extra long time
The Charmin penis:
Don't squeeze the penis!
The Beatles penis:
now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Windows '95 penis:
If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Virginia Slims penis:
you've come a long way, baby.
The Secret penis:
strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
The Micro Machines penis:
a whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Sanka Penis:
Good to the last drop.
The Payday Penis:
Its almost totally nuts!
The yellow pages penis:
Let your fingers do the walkin.
The Reese's penis:
How do you eat your penis?
The Sustecal penis :
More protein, less fat !
The Milk penis:
It does a body good!
The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Penis:
Its the adult thing to do?
The AOL Penis:
It's so easy to use, no wonder it's #1?
The Pontiac Penis:
Built for kicks, Built for Keeps!
The Psychic Penis:
It knows you are coming before you do.
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