A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong???"
The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite ... what's that???"
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the...er... features ... of a male and a female."
The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my God! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"
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Husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah", she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'
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"Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller.
"If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
"Listen Dude," drawled Fran ; in her most southern Texas draw; "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."
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A good ole boy walks up to a good ole girl and says "Howdy. How you like to come up to my place and have a little fun?"
"Well, I've heard about you good ole boys. Where exactly are you from?"
"I'm from Kentucky, way up in the hills."
"Oh, I've heard about you guys from Kentucky," she said, "you guys will screw pigs and goats and cows and chickens..."
He interrupts in a very indignant tone, "CHICKENS?!"
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A guy walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar and said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?"
She said, "Do you like sex?"
He said, "Of course I like sex."
She said, "Do you like to travel?"
He said, "Yeah, I love to travel."
She said, "Good, then fuck off."
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In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady said to the guy, "Stop being a scrote."
With a furrowed brow the clerk asked,
"What is a scrote?"Without missing a beat the lady responded,
"Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole."
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