"HAPPY HORMONES"
Dear reader, this story is purely fictional and if you think that you recognize yourself, you are allowed to give your imagination free reins.
'Gentlemen. please! QUIET!!'
The hubbub gradually dies down. A large number of male steroids are gathered in the Great Hall. They are all very excited as rumour has it that they will be required tonight to realise an event many of them in their short lives have not witnessed before.
The upheaval was caused because word got out that only a limited number would be required for the job to be done.
'Gentlemen, we are gathered here to ensure that the selection of the fortunate fellows will be fair and based on the established principle of the survival of the fittest. The purpose of the visit tonight is to go through the mechanics which ensure the reproduction of homo sapiens sapiens. Centuries old traditions must be observed'.
At the mention of the full name of the humans, an awed silence falls on the gathered hormones. They know that they exist for the benefit of humans and although they are powerful in that they can make a human do what they want him to do if they are sufficiently determined, ultimately their existence is secondary.
'Gentlemen, many of you will meet with female hormones for the first time in your life tonight and perhaps you will forgive me if I say that I find it hard to understand why you are so agitated by an event about which you know nothing'.
A resentful silence follows. There is a sea of glowering hormone faces. No one dares to speak up for fear of being told to leave.
'It will be necessary to reduce to manageable proportions the number who will be on duty tonight. First, all those present who are not steroids must please leave the meeting'.
Nobody stirs.
'Next, all those who not androgens must leave'.
There is general dissatisfaction and in one corner fighting breaks out.
'Gentlemen, PLEASE! We cannot orderly regulate tonight's procedures unless you co-operate. Let me tell you here and now that without co-operation you are going to achieve nothing!'
There is a murmur at the back of the Great Hall. 'Well, let me explain.
The androgens are those of you who were produced by the testes of the man in whose body we live'.
The fighting in the corner flares up again.
'Stop that immediately! Or the whole exercise is called off and you can all stay here tonight!'
The fighting stops without a further punch being thrown.
A large number of hormones eventually leave the Great Hall.
'We still need to reduce the number. Only testosterone's may remain'.
Half of the company present stand up and howl their dissatisfaction. 'We are the interstitial cell-stimulating hormones and without us no testosterone can be produced'.
That is a fact and the chairman realises that he will have to be careful. 'Yes, that is scientifically true. But the important point is that in producing testosterone, you achieved the highest function in your life. The testosterone's are grateful, but this is the end of the road for you chaps'.
General shouting and fighting.
'If you do not stop that and leave, I shall be forced to call in the white blood cells'.
That threat has the desired result and all the ICSH leave.
'Now we can continue'.
Eager faces are beaming up at the speaker. Some of them are actually drooling.
'Gentlemen, you and millions of your predecessors played an essential part in the development of the human in whose body we exist. I need not go into details of the development of certain parts as we all know that. But I have to remind you that your job is, amongst other things, to produce sperm and that you will not be directly involved in the mechanics of the procedures which are scheduled for tonight'.
Chaos erupts. Chairs are thrown around. Hormones hit other hormones over the head. The shouts of the chairman are inaudible. Only when a platoon of white blood cells arrives and adopting a threatening attitude, is peace restored.
'But, gentlemen, there is going to be a very, very exciting job for you. You will be pleased to learn that several hours before our host meets with the female we will be given access to the human's brain and the power to exercise a tremendous influence. You will, by influencing the brain, create and sustain sexual desire in the human'.
The crowd clap hands and stamp their feet. A few whistles are heard.
'What is more, when the time comes, you will ensure that our host achieves an erection'.
A few testosterone's are seen digging their neighbours with their elbows and grinning lasciviously. The chairman realises that he will have to restore order promptly.
'Hold it! There is a lot of hard work that needs to be done before we get to that point'.
Groans and moans are heard. '
It is no use complaining. Semen has to be made and plenty of it otherwise the whole exercise will be a failure. You guys are responsible for production. This will take you several hours, so the sooner you begin, the better'.
A wave of agitation flows through the gathering. '
And since certain others have now been identified by name, it is just as well if it is made clear to you that you will not be directly involved in the mechanics of sex this evening'. I
n the commotion which follows several hormones perish. At last the white blood cells manage to restore order.
Gentlemen, please! Co-operation is the name of the game. Preservation of the species is the most important matter in human life. In humans the urge to survive as individuals is directly linked to the preservation of the species, but that is a religious and philosophical matter which is of no concern to us. We have done our work well over the years and all we need do today is to ensure the production of sperm and to control sexual desire and erection and ejaculation'.
There is merriment all round. The chairman permits himself half a smile.
'But the point is that at the supreme moment, it will be the sperm that will rush along the shaft of love into the tunnel of love. And it is they who will shout with joy and exultation as they rush around seeking their goal. We will have done our job by then'.
Stunned silence. '
Think of it this way, gentlemen. For hours we shall have the very exciting fun of preparing our host's body and mind for this evening. We shall see our efforts slowly and deliciously come to fruition. We shall not miss a trick and every impulse, every nerve-shattering wave through his body, will be controlled by us'. I
t is not lost on the crowd that the chairman is changing his wording to include himself. '
Gentlemen, this is a beautiful job. From now on until this evening our host will not be permitted to forget for one minute what lies ahead. We shall continuously roll his testes around in the semen making process, we shall control the flow of blood to his penis, just giving him a slight taste of what it will be like when we open the gates. We shall influence his brain progressively. When he meets the female we shall direct his eyes to her feet, her legs, her butt, her breasts. We shall make sure that he smells the fragrances which she put on her person knowing that we will control his olfactory organ. And as long as they play, kiss, caress, nibble, suck, thrust, we will be there controlling each move'.
The crowd is awed by the prospects.
'And gentlemen, you will know that the female is host to hormones. Female hormones'.
Shouts of approval from the crowd.
We can rely on it that they will have done their duty and that the female will be looking forward with the same degree of intensity to this evening as our host is'.
Groans of delight can be heard.
'And now I will let you in on a secret that will give you great delight. All our lives we work to ensure that everything is ready when our host meets a female. And we all know that a meeting between male and female is to produce offspring. The mechanics of the meeting are quite involved, but that is not our concern. We do what we must do. But I am sure that you will be just as thrilled as I am to know that all the elaborate preparations for this evening have nothing to do with producing offspring. Science, survival of the fittest, philosophy, intellectual games, preservation of the species, all of that, will count for nothing. Our host and his female planned this evening purely for the extreme pleasure and satisfaction they will experience when they go through the mechanics of producing offspring.'.
Singing, dancing and shouting. Even whistling.
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